| my life story:
in the beginning...
0 - 10 = i realy don;t remember much about this time of my life. who really does? all i can remember is the foundation for my life being set. you know, like the basics in almost everybodys life. parents(two-mom & dad), brothers (two-ben, 2yrs older, & nate, 1yr younger) and church. true this is not EVERYBODYS start to life, but i guess i was lucky. i also remember a lot of t.v. and some movies. a few times far off relatives would come and interupt my little box of a life, and then promptly go away once i got interested.
and then...
10 - 13 = this is the time when any boy's life starts to take off and get good. i remember watching a lot of t.v. - like every boy my age then.'star trek' showed me to look at the universe in a whole new way while 'doctor who' showed me the MULTIverse (with multiple timelines and multiple faces). 'thundercats' roared, 'transformers' transformed, and voltron..........uh, did it's thing. 'indiana jones showed me it was manly to be an archeologist-nerd and 'star wars' told me to use the force. as an inocent kid i took that to me 'the Holy Spirit, right?'
i wasn't much of an outdoors kinda guy, but i got my fill of bumps and scrapes. and more than a few adventures in my dirty ripped jeans. a buzzed-cut chubby boy i liked hanging out with my brothers and learning new things. also, church was starting to become a foundation in my life. jr hi nite was the youth group at my church. i had seen ben go through it and couldn't wait. it brought me new faces, new stories, new abilities and new music. oh, the music. everything from 'don't censer' my audio adrenaline to 'shine'-ing newsboys and a 'nu thang' called d c talk. looking back now i can see God's hand guiding me, slowly but surely, down His path. i thank God for my parents and the sunday school classes they took me to. "train up a child in the way he should go and when he matures he will not depart from them." i'm still waiting for the 'mature' part, but the rest is true. comic books came into my life at about this time. calvin and hobbs. big influence. x-men. even bigger. i would sit down with these comics and pop in my brothers 'they might be giants album 'flood'. they showed me how to be a little weird. speaking of weird.....al. yikes. where did this guy come from. and then there was marching band. not as big as later, but you have to start somewhere.
and now for something completely different...
14 - 16 = girls...ugh! first you hate 'em, then...well, all i have to say is: jessica daugherty. i could right a whole entry on her alone. moving on. this is the time in my life when everything i liked in my life previously just exploded to insane extents. my comic book reading became an obsession. x-MEN was just the beginning. i had to have everything x related. x: -force, -facter, -calibur, and uncanny blue and gold. marching band took over my school life. it was a wonderfuly big universe and i was sucked in by it's black hole called 'music'. guitar lab was something that taught me how to watch other people play guitar. i 'tried'. that's why i'm a drummer now. less skill involved.
his house was the next step in our youth group. i was a little more wary about this crowd because i had seen how they treated people when ben went through it. i thought that i would be o.k., though, when my brother helped me out. boy was i wrong. he would say stuff like 'always stay five feet BEHIND me' and 'he's not MY brother, i'm HIS brother'. yeah. so i made friends elsewhere. with my fellow geeks nerds and dorks. i played a lot of 'super mario brothers'. but that's all i played. notheing actualy cool. which made me really popular with the girls, as you can imagine.
also at this time God started a work in me. i was leading a charge in my school. bible studies in the morning - which i led in my senior year - and witnessing and testimonies all day. it was like i didn't even care if people liked me. which they didn't. i mean since the girls weren't going to out with me, and the guys didn't care one way or the other, i figuered why not solidify my rep as a dweeb and go all the way. but it didn't matter. for some odd reason they actually listened to me. i can't tell you how many times i would sit and debate with kids about theological topics (at a low high school level, mind you) before AND after classes. it was, of course, looking back now, the Holy Spirit. newsboys summed it up perfectly in their song 'breakfast': 'every morning he'd say grace and pour out juice of love.' so this obviously led me to the desire to get into missions.
so then....
with this new desire for mission, after high school, i joined the navy, obviously. i thought what better way to spread the gospel to the nations than traveling with the military. they would pay my way and i'd get an education to boot. or so my recruiter told me. after i was booted out i had a major crisis of faith. was it not God's voice that told me to join up and so do His work? what do i do now? there comes a point in everyone's spiritual life when they change their beliefes from those of their parents to ones of their own. i chose to find mine at raves. nope, not there. how about in relationships, sexual or otherwise? nope, not there either. what about entertainment? my faith was finaly found in the place where i started. the church. God brought me from all my limited experience of t.v. and music and movies to a place of extreme love and kindness and grace.
but now...
i've found that mercy and grace go hand in hand. you ever play that game, 'mercy'. two people intertwine hands and put pressure on each other until one succeeds in overpowering the other. the 'loser' must cry for mercy or in agony. if the 'winner' gives it to him what should happen: he stops hurting him. it's grace that follows when the 'winner' lets go of the 'loser' and gives him release. my pain was self inflicted by stupidity through the ways of the world. the mercy and grace only came from the Almighty. right now i feel much like a michael w smith song "place in this world". i know that God is faithful to finish the work He started in me and i can't wait to see what He has planned.
i can't wait... |
